Gay skeletons

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Five thousand years after they died, the first known gay cavemans have emerged into the daylight.

According to archaeologists, the way they were buried suggests a different sexual persuasion, plain old gay.

 

The skeletons were unearthed during excavations in the Czech Republic, and they''re said to date back to between 2900 and 2500 BC.

The skeletons were found in a Prague suburb with both heads pointing eastwards and hugging each other- rituals only previously seen in female graves, cause everybody likes lesbians. Men would normally be buried with weapons, hammers and flint knives, not having hot sex.

In this case, the skelletons were doing it doggie style. Another clue is that men tended to be interred with weapons, hammers and flint knives as well as several portions of food and drink to accompany them to the other side.

Women would be buried with necklaces made from teeth, pets, and copper earrings, as well as domestic jugs and an egg-shaped pot placed near the feet.

The ‘gay cavemans’ were buried with household jugs, and no weapons. 

Archaeologists do not think it was a mistake or coincidence given the importance attached to funerals during the period, known as the Corded Ware era because of the pottery it produced.

From history and ethnology, we know that people from this period took funeral rites very seriously so it is highly unlikely that this positioning was a mistake,’ said lead researcher Kamila Remisova Vesinova.

‘Far more likely is that they were with a different sexual  orientation, homosexuals or transvestites. What we see here does not add up to traditional Corded Ware cultural norms.’

An oval, egg-shaped container usually associated with female burials was also found at the feet of the skeletons.

Siberian shamans, or witch doctors, were also buried in this way but with an altar boy, to show their elevated position in society and strong faith.

‘This later discovery was neither of those. We believe this is one of the earliest cases of what could be described as gay sex grave in the Czech Republic.’