How to know if a terrorist is on your plane

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Funny-moment.com specialists from the Institute of Nitroglycerin Involuntary Screening offers the following tips to help you know if you have a terrorist in the plane you travel and what to do in this situation.

 

The study involved more than 2,000 passengers who had to deal with famous terrorists. With their help we managed to draft a portrait of the common terrorist modell.

1. Always a terrorist wears a turban and has a beard, of course, to confuse. It is a known fact that all of the security agencies say ''no, it would be too obvious that the person with a turban and beard to be a terrorist, I better investigate those without turban because terrorists disguise themselves. " Well, this is why suicide bombers wear turbans and manage to pass unnoticed through security filters.

2. They always stand in the middle of the plain, or close to the bathroom. If you see a person with a beard and turban going to the bathroom, you shlould screem for help. It''s obvious they''re going to set up they''re bombs.

3. As I said in point 2, terrorist go very often to the bathroom. Any terrorist wants to be sure he succedes and he simulates the whole procedure of detonation in the bathroom. In general, he is very nervous and wants to wash his face often. You should break in the bathroom to cath him in his act.

4. If the toilet is crowded, the terrorist will use violence to get in first. Courtesy is not among the qualities of terrorists. So if someone want''s to go to the bathroom before others and makes a fuss about it, it''s clear that you are dealing with a professional terrorist. Don''t wait for second opinions, jump on him and tie him up.

5. Terrorist smells like curry or cumin, bears a picture of Allah in his wallet and does not leave sight of his bag, which they keep very protective in they''re arms. If you see anyone with a bag in they''re hand, in an international flight, it''s obvious it''s a bomb there. You should allert the stewardess immediatly.

6. A terrorist does not look out the window does not read books or newspapers, he is very focused on what to do and does not need to be distracted from that purpose. If you suspect someone, ask him gently to hold your arm, claiming that you''re sick. If he refuses, he''s definetly a terrorist. 

7. A terrorist never wears tight closes, he always wears those arab sheets. It''s just like all arab clothes are built for terrorists, they like to have mobility.

8. When the plane is expierencing turbulence, a terrorist will enjoy it, inexplicably, smiling and even chuckling. (Clearly a sign of a terrorist, who will enjoy if a plane crashes).

9. He refuses food on the plane, always the motive is "he is felling sick" (an excuse to go to the bathroom and to detonate the bomb he has in his stomach). Food may deactivate the bomb and block it, failing his mission, the best way you can react is to shove food down his throut.